


Because Xlormp should be remembered in my memories

by holdouttrout



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-19
Updated: 2008-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdouttrout/pseuds/holdouttrout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, there was a Twilight pardoy called Xlormp. Then I wrote a cracky crossover between that and Stargate SG-1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because Xlormp should be remembered in my memories

It turned five cold, hard eyes on them, it's squishy green body dripping slime, looking much like Slimey from Ghostbusters except with scales that seemed to ooze tentables.  
  
SG-1 had all trained their weapons on it the moment they first set eyes on it.  
  
"Daniel?" Cam asked, grimacing as a lump of slime dripped to the ground.  
  
Daniel shook his head, but Sam replied. "Never seen anything like it." She made an audible gulp.  
  
Vala felt nauseated herself. "Can we kill it yet?" she asked.  
  
"It is possible that the appearances of this creature are deceiving," Teal's said, but he sounded doubtful.  
  
"Greetings, Earthlings. I am Xlormp." A tentable reached out toward them as if the creature expected them to shake it. Sam wiped a hand on her BDU's at just the thought.  
  
It focused its gazes on Vala. "You would make an admirable girl-slave. You would be protected from the Tallybonkers."  
  
Vala's hands tightened around her P-90. "No thanks, but...no thanks."  
  
Cam mouthed  _tallybonkers?_  at Sam, who shrugged.  
  
Its eyes narrowed. "You would refuse the honor of being my girl-slave when I would protect you and your friends from the evil scurge of the Tallybonkers? You are a fool." It bobbed sickeningly toward Vala.  
  
"Oh, hell no," Cam said, taking aim.  
  
The next few seconds were a blur--there was a whining overhead, but before it reached them, Xlormp lay in tiny, slimy pieces at the feet of the team, shredded by the hail of bullets they'd unleashed. The whining grew louder. SG-1 looked up and, as one, hit the ground. A small ship crashed where Xlormp's remains lay, turning the whole clearing into a smoking ruin.  
  
SG-1 was, miraculously, unhurt, although they were followed home by a sort of blue, wispy cloud.


End file.
